Expectations and Meditation

Text - Permalink

Expectations and Meditation

This post is in response to a 2 part question submitted to me by love-laugh-be-happy.

Unfortunately, the first portion of the question was deleted, so I will try my best to remember and reiterate what she asked.

It was my impression that she was not noticing any marked difference or benefit after meditation, despite the fact that she’d been consistent. Her routine was as follows:

I sit crossed legged in a quiet room and I used to say a mantra over in my head, but as though I was speaking it, then I switched to breathing deeply and just trying to, well sit, and observe my thoughts in a sort of abstract way, as in not to engage with them just acknowledge that they’re there.

My Response:

It is a common complaint from meditators and yogis that they feel as though they ‘aren’t getting anything’ out of their practice. But what is this ‘anything’ we seek? Do we expect a profound sense of relaxation? Darkness? Blankness? Levitation? Magic? Inner peace?

These are all expectations that we create about our meditation. Maybe it serves as a way to give meaning or purpose to the seemingly meaningless act of sitting. A sort of ‘goal’ to work towards each time we sit, a goal that if we achieve it, we will reap some kind of reward.

But meditation isn’t about a reward or treasure in the end. This way of thinking has been engrained into our heads since the early days of capitalism (probably much earlier than this) and is very much reflective of the idea that if you work hard at something, you will get your just reward. This screams Protestant work ethic! Get a good job, make lots of money. Be a good person who follows the bible, go to heaven. Meditate twice daily with mantra, attain enlightenment.

This goal oriented, expectation laden way of thinking is not meditation. Expectations are a hinderance in meditation, and in life. They are a cause of suffering and frustration, as you can already see by love-laugh-be-happy’s question. We must become deeply aware of our expectations, and this in itself is meditation. Meditation is awareness - it isn’t “anything special”.

So, I have some suggestions for you, love-laugh-and-be-happy. Next time you meditate, do not expect anything. This may be a challenge, and may take 1 meditation or 1,000 meditations. Also in your daily life, start to become aware of the expectations you create in your mind - about yourself, about others. Learn to recognize these expectations and their origins - question how they came about in your mind.

Thank you for this question, as we all find ourselves revisiting this roadblock every once and a while.

All the best on your journey, and please let me know if you have any further questions.

Namaste,

Natasha

PS. If you love and laugh, will you be happy? ;-)