zen girl in maui

It’s true. I’ve already lost 5 lbs of extra baggage and feel lighter already.

We all gossip. We gossip about family members, friends, co-workers, celebrities - the list goes on. Think of someone close to you and you’ve probably gossiped about them. 

It’s part of our nature to gossip - we receive a natural high every time we share a juicy secret. Apparently it increases bonding in a group or between individuals - but is this truly a sustainable way to create long lasting relationships if everyone secretly disses each other?

If you gossip with someone, they are likely to gossip about you. Negative energetic daggers are thrown from person to person in order to make the gossiper feel better, if only for a second. It’s a like a drug that does great harm to others. 

It’s harmful because our mean, simple words can’t capture a person’s true essence. By gossiping, we distort the image of other people without their consent. This can lead to financial ruin, low self esteem, depression - the list goes on. 

One false word about someone can ruin their reputation for a life time. For example, I can remember being told Jason was a “total creep” in high school. I steered clear of him for the majority of high school, heeding this warning. In university, I was forced to sit beside him in a discussion group and found out he wasn’t a creep whatsoever. He was just an introvert who kept to himself and was very observant. 

It took one sentence from one person in grade 8 to shape my impression of one person for many years until I was proven wrong. I’ve learned from this mistake, and want to stop this form of slander at its root. 

It’s not easy to quit. It’s like being on a diet and catching a whiff of baking cupcakes. So tempting to take a bite and savour it for a few moments…

But the high doesn’t last long.

Instead of gossiping about someone, here are some other things we can do when tempted:

• Imagine the person you are talking about is right beside you. You are less likely to continue gossiping and more likely to say something positive about that individual.
• Do not feed another gossipers desire for attention. Don’t “ooh” and “ah” and hang off their every word when they dish. Listen with awareness, nod, and change the subject. Better yet, point out they are gossiping and stop them in their tracks.
• Avoid people you hang out with that only talk about gossip. They may be too far gone, and you can lose a lot of mental baggage by weaning off your gossip sugar daddy.
• Ditch your trash magazines and pick up something worth reading. Gossip mags are like heroin for gossipers. 
• Catch yourself gossiping. Say, “Let’s talk about something else - I’m on the no-gossip diet” and you will open the door to an entirely new conversation. 

Remember that words are sharper than knives, and they cut deeper with a higher risk of infection. 

See the light in everyone,

Natasha